Lessons [Still Being] Learned

Last night I hopped back onto my WordPress for the first time in almost 2 years. I came across a post that MB had written about a month ago and it couldn’t be any more relative to my current dilemma. To quote her post, “here are three thoughts I’ve been willing myself to remember.

  1. You cannot control people’s actions, but you can control your reactions.
  2. Change begins with you. Love yourself.
  3. You are good enough.”

“You cannot control people’s actions…” At first I never understood why things happened the way that they did. However, once communication was restored on a more civil level and having time for self-reflection, I was able to keep an open-mind and better understand the circumstances that brought us to this place. “…but you can control your reactions.” For the first couple of weeks, I felt like I couldn’t get a hold of anything. I did not know how to deal with what was going on which led to a lot of mental and physical strain. Since then however, I have been doing much better. Slowly but surely.

“Change begins with you. Love yourself.” This is currently a work in progress. Ever since things went down, I have been beating myself up for making one of the biggest mistakes in my life. As much as the blame has been put elsewhere, I point fingers nowhere else but to myself. I am working on accepting my mistakes and doing my best to learn from them. Everything in life truly is a learning experience. Absolutely no regrets, just lessons learned.

“You are good enough.” This is something that AA constantly reminded me about, but I never believed her. I always had the idea that I wasn’t good enough for anyone because not once was I given a chance until she took one on me. For that I am thankful.

Changes in life just happen so fast and there are so many variables that you cannot completely account for. As much as we love to have control over everything, life needs to take its own course and it’s just a matter of us letting it happen. The reality is that you’ll never know what you’re gonna get in life. But what you do get is always something that you deserve – whether it is good or bad, everything happens for a reason. People say that,  “if you love something, you should let it go. If it comes back it was always yours.” Letting go was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But I believe that everything in life comes full circle once during its course, all it takes is time.

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